Morning Bytes's posts tagged Super Bowl

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• The Suffering Of Patriots Fans Continues Unabated

  February 09, 2012

  And, really, is that such a bad thing?

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• Never Unplug The TV During The Super Bowl

  February 08, 2012

  Even if Jimmy Kimmel asks you to.

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• The Greatest Super Bowl Tribute Ever

  February 07, 2012

  Comes from Taiwanese animators. This might be their best effort yet.

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• What Is Your Favorite Super Bowl Memory?

  February 06, 2012

  Rams fans have no trouble answering that question.

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• Twitterverse Revels In Patriots' Suffering

  February 05, 2012

  So that’s that. Eli Manning struck a blow for little brothers everywhere. The Hooded Devel and Tom Terrific failed to win another Super Bowl.
  
  New York City celebrated. New England wept. And this is what folks typed on Twitter after the New York Football Giants closed out the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl.

  Here is the sampling:

  Jason McIntyre: “Tom Brady: 3 Super Bowl wins pre-Gisele. 0 Super Bowl wins with Gisele. #ItmeansNothing #Relax #JetsFan.”
  
  Sports Pickle: “Do you prefer Giseleko Ono or Yoko Bundchen?”

  Rain Wilson: “All those Patriots Superbowl XLVI CHAMPIONS hats & shirts are already on their way to the Congo.”
  
  The Fake ESPN: “Giants ‘We're Going To DisneyWorld!’ Patriots ‘We're Going to Haiti To Hand Out Misprinted T-shirts!’”

  Eric Stangel: “Eli Manning has more #SuperBowl rings than Peyton Manning, Dan Marino, Dan Fouts, Fran Tarkenton & Jim Kelly combined.”
  
  Clay Travis: “Love Brandon Jacobs saying, ‘We decapitated them,’ of the Patriots while holding a son in each arm.”
  
  Drew Magary: “Tom Coughlin is laughing on TV right now and you can tell that it's causing him pure ANGUISH.”
  
  Steve Rushin: “Not saying Tom Coughlin is the oldest coach in the NFL, but Betsy Ross sewed his challenge flag.”
  
  Mark Cuban: “Good teams make the playoffs, the hot team wins the championship.”
  
  Todd Behrendt: “They seriously need to disinfect the Lombardi Trophy before they give it to the Giants.”
  
  Jon Heyman: “Sure, Eli had his day. But by tomorrow, brother Peyton will be back as the Manning in the headlines.”
  
  Sports Pickle: “Five more Super Bowls and Eli may edge past Cooper to become Archie and Olivia's 2nd favorite son.”
  
  Darren Rovell: “Manning's marketing guy Alan Zucker had to be cringing with that Chevy Corvette presentation. Eli gets paid by Toyota.”
  
  Jennifer Floyd Engel: “Would have been funny if Eli had said he was leaving the car so his bro could get the hell out of town and away from Irsay.”
  
  Sports Pickle: “Awkward. Eli only has his learner's permit.”
  
  Ross Tucker: “Eli has the facial hair of a 13-year old.”
  
  Les Carpenter: “I just got run over by Gisele. There are worse ways to make a living.”
  
  Drew Magary: “Mario Manningham HAD THE SECOND LUCKIEST CATCH EVAHHHH! NO ONE DENIES THIS.”
  
  Jeff Passan: “Wes Welker: drop. Aaron Hernandez: drop. Deion Branch: drop. Chad Ochocinco: catch. What the hell?”
  
  Sports Pickle: “Welker could catch better if his hands weren't covered in grit and scraps.”
  
  Joe Posnanski: “The Drive ... The Immaculate Reception ... The Catch ... And finally: The Reluctant Touchdown.”
  
  Dale Murphy: “Craziest thing . . . Never seen a guy so sad after scoring a TD in the Super Bowl . . .”
  
  Eric Stangel: “Patriots let Giants score. Sometimes I tell myself that's what my Chargers do . . .”
  
  Awful Announcing: “The next Smash commercial may be the one that causes me to throw the TV out the window.”
  
  Steve Young: “Giants have too many men on the field. Damn you, world overpopulation!”
  
  Sports Pickle: “Woodhead, Welker, Edelman ... good luck on that Hail Mary! Maybe get some players above 5-foot-4.”
  
  Darren Rovell: “The Giants win should ensure that Vegas will lose $ just like they did in 2008. Longshot Giants odds of as much as 100/1 in midseason.”
  
  Onion Sports Network: “BREAKING: Super Bowl Ends As NBC Runs Out Of Commercials To Air.”
  
  Sports Pickle: “Brady has really gotten good at throwing deep interceptions.”
  
  Tripping Olney: “TOM BRADY WILL NOW GO HOME TO HIS SUPERMODEL WIFE. TOUGH LUCK FOR HIM.”
  
  Richard Deitsch: “And how's your night going, Rex Ryan?”
  
  Mike Wilbon: “Seeing Bill Belichick humbled really is great, especially after cutting a player the night before the Super Bowl . . .”
  
  Gregg Doyel: “Alex Silvestro, the DL signed after Belichick released Underwood last night, didn't play. Typical.”
  
  Sports Pickle: “Hope you enjoyed those 4 days of relaxed, happy Belichick.”
  
  The Fake ESPN: “We hope the Bengals smoke weed and the Raiders assault some people in the offseason or we'll have to start watching hockey for material.”
  
  Rain Wilson: “Aaron Hernandez's sleeve tattoos read 'loser' in seven different languages!”
  
  Steve Young: “Despite the loss, Newt Gingrich is claiming the Patriots won't drop out.”
  
  The Fake ESPN: “Can we please get back to Tim Tebow already?!”

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• Scribes Ponder Bill Belichick's Evil Genius

  February 01, 2012

  New England coach Bill Belichick inspires fear and loathing in the professional football industry. He is the Dark Lord of the Gridiron, wearing a ratty hoodie and a perpetual scowl on the sideline while plotting his next unpopular triumph.
  
  Sports pundits are taking turns pondering Belichick’s mystique during Super Bowl week in Indianapolis. Perhaps seeking to throw the scribes off their game, the dour tactician showed his human side while yukking it up during his initial media sessions.
  
  This got the media’s attention:
  
  Alex Marvez, FoxSports.com: “Four years ago, the Patriots arrived for Super Bowl XLII tighter than a Tom Brady spiral. Belichick’s first news conference was filled with questions about New England’s quest for a perfect season and his quarterback’s then-gimpy ankle. Those topics were as pleasant for Belichick to talk about as the lingering stink of the Spygate scandal from earlier in the 2007 season. Compared to then, Belichick was downright jovial when meeting with Super Bowl XLVI media for the first time in Indianapolis.”
  
  Mike Reiss, ESPN.com: “He likes this team. That is one conclusion that can be definitively drawn at Super Bowl XLVI, where New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick has been relaxed, engaging and humorous over the past two days. There have been a lot of smiles in his daily news conferences. If there has been a consensus among media types after listening to Belichick talk about everything from injuries -- yes, injuries -- to his background and influences in the game, it's this: Who kidnapped the old Belichick and replaced him with this one?”
  
  Gregg Rosenthal, NBCSports.com: “Perhaps he’s just getting mellow as he gets older, but we doubt it. Everything Belichick does and says has a purpose. He may have received some feedback or realized that his team was a little tight before the Super Bowl four years ago.”
  
  But the Dark Lord is still the Dark Lord, as veteran football scribes observed:
  
  Jerry Izenberg, Newark Star-Ledger: “His rhetoric falls a couple of light years short of Patrick Henry. He throws interesting quotes around as though they were manhole covers. But he is not running for the coaching equivalent of Mr. Congeniality. Belichick’s emotions are as easy to read as tea leaves at the bottom of a cup of Mississippi Delta mud. Watch him on the sidelines, bundled up in a dull, colorless sweat shirt, his face as frozen and emotionless as if it had just escaped from Mount Rushmore, staring at the 100-yard morality play before him like he were squinting through a foggy day in London Town.”
  
  Ron Borges, Boston Herald: “On the sidelines one turns red while the other seems perpetually gray. That may be the biggest difference between Tom Coughlin and Bill Belichick, and perhaps the only one that separates them on a football field or in a meeting room. Outwardly, Coughlin is a boiling cauldron of emotions, slamming down his headset or play sheets when things go awry while Belichick stands stoically, his face and emotions hidden deep inside the shadowy folds of his signature hoodie. Belichick is Mt. Rushmore to Coughlin’s Mt. Vesuvius.”
  
  CRUMMY EFFORT OF THE NIGHT
  
  Illinois and Michigan State set Big Ten basketball back three decades Tuesday night as the Illini squeezed out a 42-41 victory.
  
  The Spartans shot just 24.1 percent from the floor and nearly won. Illinois shot slightly better at 32.6 percent. Illini standout Brandon Paul suggested there was too much air in the basketball and coach Bruce Weber was forced to call on higher powers to help get shots to drop.
  
  “When the shots go up, I just say, `Please, God, let it go in,”’ Weber said. “Some of the shots just sat in there and then popped out.”
  
  FROM THE TWEETDECK
  
  Gary Parrish: “I have dozed off three times during this Michigan State-Illinois game. Every time I wake up the score is basically the same.”
  
  Peter Schrager: “The Kris Humphries paradox continues. Played great tonight in a Nets loss. Makes me cringe with douche chills an hour later on E!”
  
  Darren McCarty: “Final rumor clarification of the nite b4 I sign off. I never (went the distance with) Kim Kardashian. 1st 2nd or 3rd base - I won't admit or deny tho. Lmao!”
  
  FROM THE BLOG-O-SPEAR
  
  Clay Travis had this lament in Outkick the Coverage:
  
  Every year Super Bowl parties bring together awkward groupings of people who are then forced to sit and watch a football game. Inevitably this drives me crazy. Primarily because I don’t understand why I should suddenly be forced to watch football games with people who haven’t bothered to watch a game all season. I mean, is there any other event that celebrates idiocy more? For instance, I don’t feel compelled to show up in New York City and crash some Broadway actors Tony Awards party. You know why? Because I don’t like musicals and haven’t even seen a Broadway play in the past five years. But I respect the fact that for someone who enjoys the Tony’s, it would be sort of annoying for me to begin the night by saying, “I just don’t understand how anyone could ever like a musical.” Yet, somehow, people arrive at Super Bowl parties and say things like, “I just don’t understand why the teams don’t score more touchdowns. Pass me a Zima,” with absolute impunity. It’s lucky these parties only have plastic utensils.
  
  Even worse than that these Super Bowl gatherings require small-talk, ginger ale, finger foods, awkward banter, excessive genuflection over sugar-free sugar cookies that someone made, insufficient supplies of beer and overly abundant Mike’s Hard Lemonade, poor seating options, and require you to listen to some guy explain what a first down is to his girlfriend with an IQ that would barely be sufficient to allow her to be executed were she to commit a murder. Basically the Super Bowl forces the legitimate football fan to be tortured for about four hours with people he or she wouldn’t even think of spending time with on any other sporting occasion. Essentially, a true football fan has three options when confronted with a Super Bowl gathering of football imbeciles, a. actually answer idiotic and rhetorical questions b. make everyone at the party uncomfortable by calling out the idiots and telling them to shut-up and c. doing your best to ignore the outrageous commentary and the idiots you are amongst. Regarding this, I’ve always thought it would be classic for someone to roll up for a Super Bowl party, sit down on the couch, and put on headphones to listen to the radio broadcast.

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• Still Another Gronk Tribute From Patriot Nation

  January 31, 2012

  Keep them coming, folks. Gronk catches the ball, Gronk scored TD, Kronk spikes the ball.

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